i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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