How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
