Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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