it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
