Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
the liver wants what the liver wants
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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