it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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