What a fucking waste of an outfit
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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