Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
