Can i not drive my cunt home
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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