Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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