She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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