it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
