Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
