Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
