i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
