How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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