Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
