Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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