That's intense
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
