K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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