Where did you get a picture of my penis
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize