dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
