About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
