Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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