She announced her abortion via fbk
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
