Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
