Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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