Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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