She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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