i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I have tasted many bathrooms
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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