After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
