Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize