this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
