Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He passed out mid-signature
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
