Sponge bath it is.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
pop tarts are not kleenex
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
