Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
