When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
