$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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