..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
