Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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