honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
