He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
there is glitter all over my balls
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