Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
