good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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