in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
