It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
that is very illegal...i love you.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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