Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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