I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
