Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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