She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
why do cheetos always look like penises
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
