i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Hippo gnu deer
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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