I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize