how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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