Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
