Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
