I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
