he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
im holly from the hills drunk
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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