Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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