rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
